Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™
FAMILY; How Can I Stop My Mom and Sister From Fighting? Original Letter My mom and sister have always fought, but it's never gotten this consistent. It's common in my house to fight once or twice a week, but never once or twice a day usually they fight when my dad isn't home and he knows how to stop them. It's not like it's really doing anything like tearing our family apart, but it really does hurt me to see them fight. My sister is 16, almost 17 and my mom is almost fifty. My sisters in her third year of high school so she getting prepared for colleges. My mom wants her to go to all these things for college but my sister is very independent and doesn't want my mother to poke around in where she wants to go. My sister knows my mom just wants her to go to college and have a good life because she never went to college and we're not the most wealthy people. My sister wants to it all by herself and my mom wants to help her. How do I make them agree, or at lease stop yelling all the time? Elder Response I am sorry you are struggling with this, Lindsay. You don't say how old you are, but it strikes me that in this situation, you are wiser than your mother and sister put together. The harder your mother pushes, the less likely it is that your sister will do what she wants. That's human nature. And it's also human nature for your mom to want her daughter to have a better life and more opportunity than she had. Hopefully, the two of them will figure that out. Have you talked to your dad about this? Since he seems to be able to stop them from fighting, perhaps he can give you some ideas. It is unlikely that there is anything you can do about your mother. The best thing would be to try and talk to your sister. If she is more forthcoming about her activities and her plans, perhaps your mother would be less anxious. There must be something that your sister could ask her for help on. Even a small gesture might make a big difference. In the mean time, the best thing you can do is try to ignore it. Go outside, or go to your room, put in your ear buds and read a book. If you try to get involved directly as a mediator you will end up with both of them mad at you. The most important thing you can do is to learn from this, so that you handle it better when your time comes. Good luck, dear. Please write again if we can help. Best Regards, Grammy-Annie |
