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Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™

DATING/RELATIONSHIP: He Wants Me Back, But He's Still Cheating
Letter #: 383786
Category: Dating/Relationship

Original Letter

My fiance left me and my 10 month old. I found out he has cheated on me with a few women. He says he needs to get help and find out what is going on with him. He also says he wants to gain my trust back and has hope for us. He is still talking to the other women while he is saying all this

Elder Response

I think you've answered your own question, Nichelle, even though you didn't technically ask a question.  I believe you know what the situation is.  Your fiance left you and your baby.  He cheated and is still cheating on you as he tells you he wants to get your trust back.  Are these the actions of someone who really wants your trust, that you CAN trust? 

I don't tell people WHAT to do - that's what you must figure out for yourself,  However, his behavior points to him being no different than he was before.  Some women will put up with deception and lies because they don't want to be alone - especially when they have children.  However, I see no evidence of him being any different despite him saying he "wants to find out" what's going on with him.  Perhaps he should investigate that, then choose whether or not he can be in a committed relationship.  And maybe it would be best for you not to think about taking him back until you see concrete evidence of him not contacting other women.  

Please think long and hard about what your future is with this guy, and decide what the best course of actions is.  I hope you realize you're worth a man who will treat you with dignity and respect and I pray you will get that in the near future. Best of everything to you and your baby.

Best Regards,

Good-Listener


    

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