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Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™

FRIENDSHIP: Worried Friend's Fiance Isn't Good for Him
Letter #: 388397
Category: Friendship

Original Letter

My best friend he is like a brother to me just got engaged he told me about his proposal 2 days before he proposed I helped with his proposal but it was my first time meeting the girl but he told me about her maybe a month before that but they had been together for 3 months we really haven't seen each other or talked before he told me about the proposal but when we did meet up for the proposal we talked he told me about her they way he talked about her made her seem so nice but that night he let me go through his phone because I'm a nosey best friend lol the way she talked to him was just crazy she sometimes ignored him would go without talking to him for days and I found out she has 2 kids but he wants to be apart of there life because of he was willing for her but he's 21 and she is 26 and she also seems like she rushed him into this proposal as his friend who cares about him and love him I feel like I should tell him but she told him all the females in his life want him and don't want to see them together so if I do say anything he is going to think she is right I really don't know what to do at this point we talk every night he knows I want to tell hi Im something but he already ask that if it's something that's going to hurt his relationship don't say it so I haven't so please tell me what to do 

Elder Response

ShaSha, it is very good that he has a friend who cares about him like you do.  For someone who cares as you do, it can be difficult to decide how much to become involved.  I hope my comments will help.

I understand that you do not want to see him hurt or used by this other person.  While it does appear to be a pretty short relationship, your best friend is an adult and has made an adult decision.  You mentioned that he thinks you may have something to say to him that may hurt.  Congratulate him and be glad for him.  Be there now and in the future as a ‘best friend’. 

His relationship may work out.  It may not.  If it doesn’t work out, then he may need the support of a good friend.  I hope he appreciates your friendship.  Good luck.

Best Regards,



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