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Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™

SELF-IMPROVEMENT: How Can Be Less Quick to Anger?
Letter #: 388482
Category: Self-Improvement

Original Letter

I am at the libruary and the manager just came to talk to us,we turned in a book not long ago and they accessed a replacement fee for it, it was forty dollars and hurt us finantually, today he brought us 2 more books that we checked in, and showed us the very MINOR damage to them,they were not damaged inside the book just the binding, and one was barely noticable but he said they were withdrawing both books, and asked us if we knew what caused it, i got in anger mode thiking here it comes im going to be charged now for 2 more books, and i called the lady i spoke to the other day the b word, he got hiself in an uproor and threatned to have me served with a trespass order,and tried to ask again if i thought she was that, i changed the subject back to the books, and then he said he was not going to charge me for them but we have to not let it happen again. my wife and i think we did have a spill with a drink one day, but not sure, but i dont know why they feel a book has to be in perfect pristine shape to be circulating. i could of said some more things i was thinking but i know its thank god i didnt say anything else, but it angers me how these people run the libruary and force there beliefs and rules onto others, i get upset often with bad customer service and people wanting to play God, i dont know how to be not so affected by it...

Elder Response

I could say, "Don't sweat the small stuff" but I know that in your case, it is a much bigger issue than simply saying that!  

I used to volunteer at a local library and I am also one who uses the library frequently.  Like you, a book does not have to be in 'pristine' condition but who is to say what 'pristine' means?  Perhaps your manager is following rules from someone above him.  A spilled drink on a book may cause quite a bit of damage to the cover of a book and make a borrower go, "eww."  It might mean nothing to you, but to someone else, it could be a big thing.

Another issue is learning to control your temper.  You can THINK these things but saying them is another matter.  I have no idea how often you allow yourself to talk to superiors in a less-than-acceptable manner but if you feel it is often, perhaps a course in anger management would be something to consider.  There are so many daily issues that can play havoc with our tempers and learning how to control one's temper is very important so as not to get yourself into trouble or cause trouble for others.  You might also consider counseling to learn alternative ways to manage frustration.

There are people who are Type A personalities which mean that they just react easily to situations and tend to show anger quicker than Type B personalities.  It is bad to keep anger inside all the time....it does need to be released but in a more productive way.  Instead of calling people names, maybe you could wait until later and then take out your anger by working out at a gym, punching a punching bag, jogging, etc.  

Learning how to control your temper will serve you well in life and keep you out of trouble or keep you from getting fired or arrested!  Please do something now to help yourself.

Best Regards,



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