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Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™

DATING/RELATIONSHIP: A Red Flag At Six Flags
Letter #: 393374
Category: Dating/Relationship

Original Letter

Howdy. I went to an amuse mentioned park the other day and this girl and I started to flirt with each other. Which is pretty great if I do say so myself, she's only a year older than I and she is weird just like myself (In the good way of course). Anyway, she gave me vague warnings when I asked for her number, saying that her mother might overreact about me. I'm a nice enough guy and I very rarely get into trouble, her mother should love me. What I need help on is how I should approach this situation. We live about an hour and a half away from each other so we won't see each other that much, but we'really both really yearning to get to know more about each other. I'm just a guy looking for a way to develop a close relationship with this girl without scaring anyone away. Sincerely, Anon.

Elder Response

First, I love your sense of humor regarding the title of your letter.  J

It might not be you in particular that this girl is referring to when warning you about her mother’s reaction to you, but more about her mother thinking she is too young to date, or the fact that her mother is very overprotective.

In any case, most mothers are mainly concerned about their children’s safety.  So, her mom will be worried about you hurting her daughter in some way, such as hurting her feelings, driving recklessly or pressuring her to have sex, or taking her to unsafe places.  Anything you can do to preclude that will help your case, such as: You can tell her mom you just want to talk to her daughter and get to know her better and that you are willing to visit at her house under her mom’s supervision.  You can point out that you are a safe driver if you drive, that you are a good student if you are a student, or a good worker if you have a job. Say that you come from a good family and have good morals.  Say what your goals are.  Say that you are willing to live by her mom’s rules and respect them- such as you will have her daughter home by an early hour, that you will get any destinations approved by her mom in advance, that you will call her as soon as you arrive at your destination and when you leave there, etc.  These things will show her mom that you will keep her daughter safe and will be responsible. 

You can also ingratiate yourself with her mom by bringing flowers to her, offering to do dishes, take out the trash, offering to wash her car, or do anything else she needs help with. 

Lastly, her mom will be worried about you two having sex and her daughter getting pregnant so you can make it clear that you will never pressure her daughter to have sex and that if you ever did have sex it would be with protection. 

Hope these ideas help you.  Good luck and Happy New Year!

Best Regards,

Grandpa-Bill


    

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