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Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™

DATING/RELATIONSHIP: How Can I Get Him Back?
Letter #: 394991
Category: Dating/Relationship

Original Letter

Hi, My boyfriend and I broke up at the end of September last year (2016) and I've missed him like crazy. He and I both believe my anxiety had a bug role to play in the breakup. Anyway. I want to get back with him. We still talk like best friends but he goes quite whenever anything to do with love or something like that comes up. He wanted to get back together a while back but I ruined it, I slept with another guy. I was drunk. how do I get things back on track?

Elder Response

It seems like you need a good friend Rachel. And it also seems like there may be underlying anxiety disorder that makes life challenging for you. I am very concerned that you lost control and had sex while drunk. This is another cause for concern.

Of course you miss this guy being your boyfriend. He is giving you big clues he wants friendship and nothing else by avoiding any talk of love. If you press him too hard, you might lose his friendship as well.

If anxiety interferes with your relationships, I would recommend that you speak to a professional Rachel. I am not saying there is anything wrong with you. The brain is a biological organ and functions using chemistry and processing hormones and neurotransmitters. Sometimes the chemistry needs help. Also, talking to a professional can really, really help. I know this personally. Also, it would be good to talk about alcohol causing behavior that may hurt your personal life. Here is a link to potential resources for you: https://mhsa.aihw.gov.au/home/

So Rachel, I am here trying to feel what you must be feeling. As a woman, I have felt that awful pang of wanting someone back in my life. I went to counseling for this and I also required antidepressants for a while. This put me in a better place. I turned to girlfriends, went to school and earned an advanced degree. Life continued. And guess what? Now I am the happiest ever with the man of my dreams. 

Please take care of yourself. If you can, avoid drinking to excess while you work through your feelings. If anxiety is problematic, seek help as soon as you can! 

With caring thoughts to you!

Best Regards,

OmaSue


    

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