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Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™

Letter #: 395005
Category: Dating/Relationship

Original Letter

Before you join a dating site, there are all these people that want to meet you - this is every dating site you join, write to them, then a few days a ghost town, no reply at all or phony people paid to get your mone. It has happened over and over before. I joined there were 100 messages i join 90 fakes every time i meet a girl the same thing happened over and over. All i hear is you will find someone - that is crap i wont find someone its over. No reason to try ever again. Accept the fact that people in the world were never meant to ever find love. They have to pay for it by being alone so others can find love so things balance out.

Elder Response

Meeting people is never easy. Dating sites are only one way. You might have to investigate 100 possibilities before you find anyone you might like. You need patience and perseverance. However, there are other ways. What have you done to socialize yourself? Some methods are to attend social functions, such as singles dances, take community college classes, join a club or a political party and be active in it, even consider taking up a musical instrument and joining a band.  If you follow your interests, you will find others with the same interests. There is a ton of information with suggestions on meeting people in books and online. I remember, when I was widowed, one piece of hilarious advice was to shop for groceries at midnight because men shopped at night. I did not do this.

Another thing, Woodie, is to look at your criteria. Maybe you are too fussy. What do you want in a partner? Are you focused on physical appearance? People who never find love might also never find friendship and truly, the best relationships are built on friendship. Are you giving people a chance for you to get to know them, and for them to get to know you?   

You might also tap into family and friends. Tell them you are looking and give them opportunity to be matchmakers.

And finally, you should consider what you have to offer a partner. Are you an interesting, caring person? Do you take good care of yourself physically. Do you put yourself out for others? Are you generous? Take a hard look at yourself and measure your own lovability. Most important, don't give up!

Best Regards,



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