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Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™

OTHER: Help - My Girlfriend is Depressed and Cutting
Letter #: 397595
Category: Dating/Relationship

Original Letter

my girlfriend suffers with depression. I've been helping. She hasn't cut in almost 2 years. But the other day she did. Now she isn't eating or talking it's like she isn't really there. I'm really worried about her and I want to help but I'm not sure how. I'm scared for her cause the last time she was like this she almost killed herself. PLEASE HELP ME PLEASE!!

Elder Response

When someone begins cutting, stops talking, isn't eating, those are signals that something is seriously wrong. If your girlfriend is not willing to see a doctor or a psychiatrist (the latter would be better, but she may need a referral from her GP), then it's time for you to take action -- even though it may make her angry with you.

What action to take? If she is under 21, and if her parents are reasonable people, the first step would be to talk with them. If that's not the case, get in touch with your county mental health agency and ask them for advice. They will know what kinds of intervention may be possible.

Especially since your girlfriend has a history of attempted suicide, it's important that you take action now. It would be a terrible tragedy if you did nothing, and she ended up harming herself seriously.

Corinna, your girlfriend is lucky to have you in her life. Your support and love are probably one of the few things she has to hang on to right now. However, you need to remember that you aren't responsible for keeping her alive, or even for making her happy. She is the only one who can do that, and if she chooses not to -- in spite of all you can do -- it really is her choice. Even more important than your caring for her is your responsibility to yourself: keeping yourself healthy, and keeping your head clear.

I'm glad that you wrote to us, and I hope you'll write back. I truly do want to hear from you again, and learn how both of you are doing. I'll be thinking of you, sending you good vibes, and watching for a letter from you --

Best Regards,



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