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Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™

DATING/RELATIONSHIP: My crush is into someone else
Letter #: 397847
Category: Dating/Relationship

Original Letter

I've had this crush on this guy for over a year now. He is beyond everything. He's smart, athletic, nice, caring, easy on the eyes, and we have a lot in common. Lately, I've noticed he has been hanging out with this other girl who is also smart, athletic, nice and really pretty. I'm left with the same feelings I had when my ex-boyfriend cheated on me: unloveable. 

I don't know how I should handle this situation. I feel as if I was to try and move on it would be a major loss on my part but I also feel it would be inappropriate if I was to try and get with him. I wouldn't even know where to start if I decided to try to get with him. Any words of advice?

Elder Response

You said he has been hanging out with this other girl, but you didn't say they are dating.  So you have nothing to lose by letting him know that you are interested in him. Then he will be able to decide whom he wants to hang out with.

You can do this by taking one of the things you have in common and letting him know you would love to do that thing with him sometime.  So when he is alone, away from his friends, just mention that you two have some similar interests and name them, and then say that you would love to do one of those things with him sometime.  Tell him to call you if he is ever interested.  Then the ball will be in his court.  He will know you would love to go out with him and if he is interested in you he will take you up on your offer.

There are certain signs people show when they are interested in you:

You catch them staring at you, grooming themselves when around you, teasing you, introducing you to their friends, trying to be where they know you will pass by, trying to be your partner or to sit near you, or they touch you, compliment you.   If you have seen any of these signs from this guy, then you will know he finds you attractive and is interested in you. If you haven't seen these signs, he may not be interested in you.  In that case, move ahead and meet other guys rather than hope he will come around to notice you.

Best Regards,



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