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Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™

DATING/RELATIONSHIP: Still Not Over Her And It's Been Six Months
Letter #: 399719
Category: Dating/Relationship

Original Letter

I've been split with the other half now for 6 months and I just can't get my head round it. I think she is with a new guy but she won't tell me if she is. my heads goof a little can you help

Elder Response

You have written in to the Elder Wisdom Circle, Joshua, because you would like an opinion, so I’ll give you mine. Before I do, however, you need to understand that I don’t know any of the players in your situation. The only information I have to go on is the letter you wrote. So, having said that, this is what I think.

I would suggest that your very first step is to accept that you are no longer a couple. If you have been split up for 6 months, I think it’s safe to say that is the case. The odds of you getting back together at this point, in my opinion, are slim, especially if she is with someone else now.

So, what can we do? Understand that a broken heart will mend, just like a broken arm or broken leg. All it needs is time. In the meantime, I suggest you get busy. Keeping busy will help you avoid just sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself. It will help you move on. Focus on school or work, whatever it is that you do. Go to the gym and exercise. Working up a sweat will help a lot. Mix with new people. I think joining a club that’s about something you are interested in, or volunteering for an organization that’s about a cause you believe in is a great thing to do. Not only will it help you keep busy, but you will be in contact with new people who already share an interest with you. You may not meet the person of your dreams right away, but you just might make a few new friends, and no one can have too many friends. And, friends have friends who have friends, etc. See where I’m going with this?

The absolute reality is this: Nothing will help you get past an ex-lover faster than a new lover. If you start to mix with new people, you will find new people to start dating. Who knows what can happen after that?

I hope what I’ve written helps you, Joshua, even if it’s only a little bit. I hope things work out for you. Feel free to write us back if you ever need advice in the future. Good luck.

Best Regards,



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