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Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™

CAREER: Office Gossip
Letter #: 400162
Category: Friendship

Original Letter

About 5 months ago my guy best friend stopped being my friend because he believed someone else over me; a girl he has known for 4 years. We work at the same place in the same department so we see each other everyday. Recently I have learned that there is talk that he may be fired, I don't know if I should tell him? Or is it not even my place because I shouldn't care anymore sinc he's not my friend anymore and every time I did want to reach out to me he just ignored me. Then he deletes me off of all social media... what do I do?

Elder Response

Hi Lily, to some extent my advice on this is really easy.  Do not participate in office gossip.  Don't believe it, don't share it, and don't contribute to it.  It is almost only hurtful to someone.  

I am speaking from experience.  It may seem fun to learn something someone else knows.  Then, you have to decide whether to keep it a secret or share it.  Keeping secrets is hard, and sharing it is well, gossiping.  And, it can have a direct impact on your career.  And, as you know, friendships.  

So, if you want your work life to be simple.  Don't share this gossip with your friend, and try to get yourself out of situations where people share this type of information with you.  I will be starting a new job soon and my intention is to avoid gossip and the complaining that sometimes goes on in offices.  I am pretty sure that I'll be much happier because of it. 

If you want to repair your relationship with your friend, just be nice and hope that he eventually realizes that you are a nice, sincere person.  I understand that you want to help him by sharing this information, but it is either not true, or is true and he probably knows that something is going on and would be embarrassed to know it was being discussed.  

I hope this advice helps and wish you the best.    

Best Regards,

NancyJo


    

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