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Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™

DATING/RELATIONSHIP: Want to Explore My Sexuality
Letter #: 402225
Category: Dating/Relationship

Original Letter

I've only recently accepted myself as bisexual. I told my girlfriend(2 years together) and she's proud and accepting of me. However I also want something with a guy. My girlfriend doesn't want me to be with other people, it would put pressure and uncertainty on her. I don't want that for her. I want a future with her, but also with a guy as well I have two sides and want to explore my sexuality :(

Elder Response

I have read your message and believe I have an answer for you.  I hope you will agree but, if not, please know that my opinion is merely my own.

Your girlfriend is proud of your announcement that you are a bisexual but does not want to share you with anyone.  I know you understand that most people who want a real future together dont want the other partner to participate in intimacy with any other, bisexual or not.

You say you want a future with her but want the option of exploring with males.  Truly that is not a workable issue, don't you know?  If she said she wanted a future with you but wanted to be with other guys, or girls, would you be open to the idea?  I doubt that you would.

In this case, Antonio, you cannot have your cake and eat it too.  If you want a long term relationship with this lady you must decide that she alone is enough for you.  If you make a decision that you want male partner/s you must make do without her.  Possibly some woman will be open to the idea of sharing you but this lady is obviously not one of them.

Make a decision about which is more important, the lady or another guy, and stick with it.  You need to have it clear in your mind, and share with her, which road you will be on.  If you cannot get along without other partners please do her the favor of breaking with her so she can begin her life anew.

The choice is yours but it is one that needs to be made, now.

Best Regards,

Phil


    

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