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Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™

SCHOOL: Advice for Making Friends at New School
Letter #: 405889
Category: School

Original Letter

I'm going to a new middle school next year I was going with 2 other girls but I know they won't hang out or talk because we have no classes together. My best friend is going to a different middle school and I don't have any friends. I feel like no one is gonna like me and I will be friendless at my new school.

Any advice on how to make friends at a new school, and like how to be confident?? Please help

Elder Response

Starting a new school when you don't know anyone, is unnerving for even the most confident of people, Haley.  I had to go through the same thing when I was your age.  My family moved and all of my friends went to the middle school of the area we had been living.  After the move I had to go to the middle school in the area to which my family moved.  I was TERRIFIED....  But it changed soon after I started school.  There may be a little time of awkwardness and it'll seem like everyone is so happy (they're not) because you'll look around at first and the faces will be new.  Chances are in a few weeks you'll see things a lot differently.  

So, how to handle it?  First and foremost is being friendly and open to talking to people.  And getting involved in the classwork.  The other....is to join extra curricular activities or even academic groups.  In other words, choose things that you enjoy and want to participate in or learn more about.  When a person is "interested", they're interesting.  When you have common interests, there are things to talk about.  You won't be friendless for very long.  Ask questions.  People like to feel important and so often they like to help.  It's a way to endear other kids to you.  

Don't be discouraged if you feel a little insecure at first...it will change for the better.  This way you'll end up with the new friends and your old ones...and will be better off for all of it.  Good luck!

Best Regards,

Good-Listener


    

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