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Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™

DATING/RELATIONSHIP: Paranoid Boyfriend
Letter #: 406789
Category: Dating/Relationship

Original Letter

I've been dating this guy for about two months. We do drugs and Everytime we are high he starts to ask all these questions about how people hack phones and he talks about how. Always bullshitting him when I have done absolutely nothing wrong for make him think other wise. He is questioning my loyalty and for that I question being with him. He acuses me of cheating because there was 3 little bruises on my knees or acuses me of fucking with his head intentionally. IDK where he gets this from and starting to make me think of he doing something and he's just feeling guilty.

Today was the final straw. I have had it. I wanted to have sex so I was being all cute and we started having sex he just stares at me for 10 minutes then says get off me stop. I get off and ask wtf his problem was and he said I didn't wanna listen to him when he asked me to turn off the TV because the TV apparently messes with his head somehow and so does the radio. So my entertainment is pretty much over with. Then he asks out of no where "do you care about how things effect me I said yes why he said then why would you continue to use my phone when you know it hacked. Hold up I say your mad at me over using your hacked phone. I wasn't thinking about how it effected him. He still uses it so why can't I? I don't have. Phone anymore so I'm phoneless. He lays wants to start a fight

Elder Response

I am so sorry you are struggling with this, Rachel. As I understand it, the paranoid behavior you describe is a common side effect of a number of street drugs. They don't affect everyone that way, but some are very susceptible, and over time, the paranoia will continue even after the effects of the drugs have worn off. Also, some people are just more susceptible to conspiracy theories than others. 

As far as the phone is concerned, have you asked him who he thinks has hacked the phone and why? You might point out that since you are not doing anything improper or illegal with the phone, who cares if all your conversations are made public. If you can find out what his real concerns are, perhaps you can help him to overcome them. As long as the phone isn't connected to his bank account or credit cards and he's not talking to terrorists, who cares if the NSA logs his phone calls?

But honestly, logic doesn't usually work with people who are as paranoid as he is becoming. I knew one guy who wouldn't drive a car newer than 1974 because he was convinced that the computer chips were allowing the government to track his every move. I work with a woman who is convinced that the government wants to install RFID chips in all of us so they can track our whereabouts. 

My best advice, dear, is to find another boyfriend, preferably one who doesn't do drugs. These effects tend to become steadily worse, and it could put you in harms way. 

Good luck, Rachel. Please write again if we can help. 

Best Regards,

Grammy-Annie


    

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