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Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™

DATING/RELATIONSHIP: How to Tell Him I Like Him?
Letter #: 416756
Category: Dating/Relationship

Original Letter

Dear ElderWisdomCircle, In the past year I met a boy at Basketball. We talked for long periods of time. One day we stayed till 10pm talking after practice. He usually jokes alot, and one day he told us (me and friends) he liked me. I laughed a bit because I didn't know what to do (at the time I didn't know if I liked him). A few months passed and we weren't talking as much (time was shirt bcs of school ) and I noticed I really did like him.

Now I am very confused because of all this, PLUS his sister and I are best friends. I told her that I liked her brother and I don't know if she's OK with it or not it's hard to tell... He is in the 9th grade and I am in the 8th (we are the same age) I finally decided I should tell him I like him, but I couldn't find the right moment, he is never alone... I thought of asking his sister but as I said I can't tell if she's ok with it. My other friend has told me she would be willing to help but I don't think it is a good idea to send someone else (maybe)... So I finally added him on FB and thought of messeging him there but I don't know how to tell him...

So what I would really like to know is how can I tell him? And if I should text, say it, or send someone else? Thanks for all the support!

Elder Response

I know it can be confusing how to communicate to a guy that you like him,  GLB.  As you said, do you say this or that to this or that one?  

Adding him on Facebook was a good first move.  And, as you said - he's often with surrounded by other kids so it's hard to get to him alone.  I also think you're smart in not having someone be what is often referred to as a "wingman"...or "wingwoman"....a person who does your work for you with regard to romantic possibilities.  

My feeling is to try and get to him but not to tell him directly you like him romantically.  Try to engage him in communication - mutual interests...anything that gets you two "talking" even if it isn't face to face, at first.  He'll get the hint that you like him....and if continues to go forward, then maybe you'll find a way to see him a little more...and to see him alone.  I'm not a big fan of telling someone outright that you are attracted to a person romantically or stating that you want to have a relationship with that person.  I believe sublety is the way to begin and that coming on too strong can make a person feel pressured.  

You sound like a smart young lady - and, even though I know nothing about your crush - I have a good feeling about him.  See if you can emphasize the friendship part...  Find out what interests he as and ask him about that.  Everyone wants and needs to feel important.  It'll make him feel good if you ask him questions about his activities or hobbies....or anything where you are flattering him by wanting to know his opinion.  That's always a way I got guys interested.  It's a form of flattery, as I said, but it's subtle and not coming on strong.  And, it may make him feel good to know you care what he THINKS....not that he's just cute or popular.  See what you can do by using your creativity and smart, which you obviously have.  Good luck!

Best Regards,



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