Can I ask my twin sister to be one of my bridesmaids even though the others don’t like her?
Tell them all to grow up, says our elder. Whose wedding is this anyway?
Dear EWC
I’m getting married in July and I want my twin sister to be a bridesmaid, but none of my other bridesmaids like her. My sister can be a bitch sometimes so I can see why. I know if I ask her they won’t get along. What should I do? PS My other sister is also in the wedding party.
PicklesMarie replies
You and your beloved are marrying in July. Congratulations on your engagement and upcoming wedding and marriage!
You want your twin sister to be a bridesmaid, but,none of your other bridesmaids like her. So what? This is YOUR wedding; the choice of who to stand up with you is yours to make. I think you might regret not having your twin stand up… for a lifetime.
You and your beloved need to envision a wedding that is manageable financially and energy-wise. This is not an easy task. Everyone involved will have their own opinion. Try to ignore opinions coming from people who are not putting any money or energy into the wedding!
You might, if you haven’t already picked one, put your twin sister in position of maid of honor. This position might keep her a bit isolated from the other maids. Or, as another way to keep her a bit isolated give her tasks to do without the other maids. The bridesmaids do not have to ‘act as a pack’. And, as adults, all the maids should be expected to get along. Solid adults have learned to get along with others… it is part of being a true grown up!
It is important you tailor down your vision of your wedding to something affordable for whoever is paying the costs. The wedding industry is designed to separate you (or your parents) from their hard earned cash. All, basically, for one day. Try to look ahead to the marriage… rather than the wedding.
As the bride, you lead… even if you aren’t normally a leader… you need to lead. Talk to all your bridesmaids in private about getting along and your vision for your wedding. It is important that you have a strong vision so money and energy isn’t spent foolishly.
As a bride it is important you realize an important event like a wedding is often an excuse for a lot of drama. Try, as the bride, to avoid petty disagreements and retain a financially and energy-wise manageable wedding plan. You might find your twin’s strong personality to be an asset. Try to win her over to your vision and have her help you keep your vision in order! (Remember she will expect the same outlay of money and energy for her eventual wedding.)
If it were me, I would kick out any bridesmaid who refuses to get along with your sister. As I said before, an adult learns how to get along with others!
I hope I’ve been of help. Feel free to write again anytime. Enjoy the excitement of preparing for your wedding!
Best Regards,
Elder Picklesmarie
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