What’s stopping me leaving home?

Our elder helps a letter writer move past his emotional blocks and make a moving-out plan.

Dear EWC

I am still in California and living with my parents. I graduated with an associates degree. I am having these emotional blocks of moving out. I have this plan in my head to do something. I don’t know what is stopping me from not moving out. My dad recently asked me for my plans. I told him I don’t have any (I lied).

Elder Lawry replies

I would be happy to answer your letter. Congratulations on getting your associates degree. Job well done!

Moving out of your parents’ home is a huge step in life, for both you and your parents. You don’t mention if you have a job. If you don’t then that might imply that your parents would continue to help you financially if you move out. Before you move out, you will want to have everything arranged ahead of time.

You may want to consider if you want a roommate when you move out and find an apartment. I know that’s what I did and it worked out great. I paired up with someone I went to college with. As time went on, I decided I wanted to live by myself, so I got a studio apartment. 

You said you had a plan in your head so it sounds like you just need a push in that direction. I don’t know if you are hesitant because you don’t know if your parents will approve of your plan. You are old enough to be on your own and to make your own decisions. Sometimes our decisions aren’t in agreement with our parents, but that’s OK. When I decided on my major for my associates degree, my father didn’t agree with me, but I stuck to my guns and he got over it. In fact he ended up being very proud of the work I was doing.

You simply to need to tell yourself that it’s your life and you are the only one that can live it. You need to do what will make you happy, not what makes others happy. That is very important. It’s all about you and that’s not being selfish.

I say, take the leap and look back with any regrets. Live your life and enjoy every bit of it.

I hope that this has been helpful to you, and I wish you a great deal of luck as you make this big move. You can do it!!! Think positive. I am a great believer in that. 

I would love to hear how things work out for you. I’ll be thinking of you.

Reference 425541

Self improvement