A letter writer got a bit too involved in a group activity at school. Should she apologize for being rude?

Sounds like a good idea to our elder…

Dear EWC

We were split up in groups in my class. I’m highly competitive, so I really wanted to get a lot of points and have fun with it like the other groups. However my group wasn’t so into it and so I would rush them. I got annoyed by it and when other groups talked about how they have done so much and how half of the class was slacking, I said, “I know right!? Look at my group!” And later I told my friend that my group did “jack sh*t”. I might have been a b*tch and was wondering if I should apologize to them.

BES replies

I would say that the fact that you are questioning your behavior shows that you think you might have said the wrong thing. Here are my thoughts:

I can truly understand when your group does nothing and you see other groups accomplishing much how you must feel frustrated. I would also suspect that if you were to have said anything to the instructor, he/she would likely have said to “work it out amongst yourselves”. The lesson was not just to get the project completed but also to learn group dynamics.

For the future, if a similar situation arises, you could ask, “How do you propose we could be sure that the work is equally distributed?”  

Yes, I would think an apology would be a nice thing.

You could also ask to talk to the instructor privately and see if there might be suggestions given to the class on how to better work together in the future. Breaking the task down into small sections and checking back with each other frequently is usually the best approach. Asking each other if they need help is also a good idea.

Good luck to you and let me know if I can be of any further help.

Letter #: 431595
Category: School