I’ve tried and tried but I just can’t figure out how to do it.

Well, says our elder, I admire your willingness to ask a direct question. It’s all about being patient and finding out what works for you.

Dear EWC

I know this is a very weird topic but I really want to masturbate. I try but nothing works. My friends talk about it and I pretend I do it but I really want to do it. Please help me, even though this is very weird. Please teach me how to do it.

DonM replies

Well, I admire your willingness to address a rather taboo topic within our society. I am sure that you are not the only person to be concerned about these issues and have these questions.

You haven’t said why you want to masturbate, and I’m wondering if you are feeling pressure from your friends. Masturbation is defined as self-stimulation of one’s own genitals for the purpose of experiencing pleasure. It is OK if you do masturbate, and it is OK if you don’t. There is a sexual maturation process within each individual that will determine whether one is sexually responsive to stimulation. This, in part, is controlled by hormonal factors that occur during the period of time that we refer to as adolescence. Some mature earlier during this process, some mature later. It’s not something that you can personally control.

Techniques of masturbation vary, and what works for one person, may not work for another. Typically masturbation involves manual manipulation of the genitals. Part of the process is discovering what works and what doesn’t work for you. However, if you’re not hormonally ready, any stimulation of the genitals may not be effective. This may explain why you have found that “nothing works” for you. It may be a matter of where you are in the sexual maturational process. I would advise you to be patient.

I hope you find some of this helpful, and I wish you the best in your future.

Letter #: 435946
Category: Other