My family is moving away once I go to college — but I can’t bear the thought of not being able to return to my home town. We hear you, say our elders. Cherish the memories and try to keep busy.

Dear EWC

Hey, I’m currently living with my family whilst I do my A levels. After I complete that I plan on continuing to university to study my chosen field. Today, I learnt my family is planning on moving away once I leave. I am already terrified of leaving my house as I have deep issues with change and the concept that I won’t even have my home and town to return to once I’ve left is awful, I really can’t handle it. Unfortunately, I know this is selfish of me. My mother’s job demands regular trips to London which currently means she’s almost always exhausted, often waking at 4 am and returning well after 10 pm. Even so, I am distraught and don’t know how to handle it. I’ve lived here since I was five and losing it feels like losing a close friend. Please, how should I handle this sort of change? How can I deal with being so completely removed from everything I’ve known?

Chateau replies

We are a couple of elders living in our senior home. We hear that you are anxious about this upcoming change, which is very understandable. The elders here went through the same thing coming here, leaving their homes behind where they raised their families. We had to make hard decisions to better the lives of our family. Your mother does sound like she is having a hard time with her commuting situation. Our suggestion is to take it one step at a time. Maybe a trip to the university will help you feel more comfortable. We know it’s hard to accept change but in order to go forward in life, change will have to come.

Change is not easy to cope with on your own. Check if the school you are going to has a counselor you could speak to. Communicating your feelings to a friend might help too. We are sure you are not the only one going through these feelings as you move up in life.

Try by keeping yourself busy when you are not doing school work. Exercising is a great way to distract and build a healthy habit. Also volunteering is both beneficial to you and others to help you go through this process.

The elders here have one main piece of advice: focus on what you want to do. You want to go to college and get a good job and eventually have your own home. You have to let some things from your past go to be able to succeed in life. Keep your memories of that wonderful home of yours and have them help motivate you to have a home of your own one day where your family can grow. We wish you the best and to keep your head high.

Letter #: 437844
Category: Family