My wife just sleeps all day, but the doctor says there’s nothing wrong with her.

It sounds like you definitely need a second opinion, says our elder — as well as some urgent marriage counseling.

Dear EWC

My wife and I have been married for just over a year. All she does is sleep. She’s been to the doctor but they can’t seem to find anything wrong with her. We stay in separate rooms for most of the day, intimacy ended long ago, and it feels like she’s checked out of the marriage. Any attempt to talk about things always ends in an argument. I don’t know what to do. I love my wife very much and I’ve been trying to be patient and hope things improve. I’m having a hard time finding hope or any real happiness.

Cara replies

I’m sorry to hear that you and your wife are in this situation so early in your marriage. However, the fact that you understand the problem and are willing to find the underlying cause and solution is extremely admirable. It is always preferable to attempt to work out your issues early in your marriage.
It sounds as if there is a physical symptom with your wife, but of course, I cannot say for sure. One alternative would be to see an additional doctor for a second opinion. You may want to ask if vitamins might help with her energy level, or if her sleep habits at night are interfering with her napping during the day.
Most importantly, I would encourage you both to see a marriage counselor so together you can discuss what is on each of your minds. The therapist would provide an unbiased opinion and guide you through answers to your questions. He/she would also facilitate conversation between you so dialogue can be constructive and solution-oriented.
Wishing you both happiness…

Letter #: 445317
Category: Marriage