I’ve fallen in love with my summer fling. Should I tell him before I move away?

Best not says our elder — stay friends and see how you both feel next summer.

Dear EWC

So I am moving from Texas to Canada in two weeks and it has just dawned on me that I am in love with this boy I had a fling with over the summer. I met him in my summer job and we kept our fling a secret from all our other coworkers, friends and families because we didn’t think it would last long. But over the course of the summer, our relationship surpassed the casualness of a fling as we grew very close and shared personal things and found comfort in each other. Our dynamic has changed from the playfulness of a meaningless fling into proper affection for one another, or at least that’s what I think. I am actually in love with him and I think he might be in love with me, but I don’t want to spoil what we have because neither of us are into clingy girl/boyfriend shit. And I don’t want to throw around the ‘love’ word like it’s casual, especially since we agreed to not get emotionally attached in the beginning. I don’t know for sure if he feels the same way seeing how we only met at the beginning of June, but on my end, my feelings only grow stronger every day. It was only until today that I realized I loved him while we were hanging out, and now the thought of moving and leaving him is so painful.

I understand that in a month or two I may not even be thinking of him after the distance wears out our intimate affection for one another, so in the interest of not making things awkward next summer at work, should I keep my feelings to myself? Should I tell him that I love him? Or is it irrelevant, uncalled for and too risky as it is potentially unrequited? The way I see it is that I could tell him that I love him and he feels the same way which will make my moving much harder than it already is, or he doesn’t feel the same way which makes our friendship for the next two weeks and next summers very awkward. Or I could not say anything at all, and enjoy my remaining time with him in silence but possibly live in regret for not having said anything before life demonstrates how short it can be? What would you do?

M-Sharon replies

I think that this is a hard decision. However, because you are moving, keeping up a long-distance love relationship is difficult. Keeping up a long-distance friendship is easier. Since your feelings for him are new, and you already know they possibly won’t last, my advice is to just let him know that you’ll miss him and that hopefully, you both can keep in contact as friends.

I do think that if you say anything about love, he may very well walk away. The reason I say this is that the relationship is only two months old, and you both had agreed not to get emotionally attached.

Since you’ll be together next summer, things may very well change. I hope this helps.

Letter #: 445532
Category: Dating/Relationship