I want to go to college without getting into debt… and my stepfather wants to kick me out! Could GoFundMe help?
We applaud your efforts, say our elders. Can you find a compromise with your family first?
Dear EWC
I’m 20 years old. I’m working at Wendy’s part-time and owe $3,000 on student loans on a school I didn’t even finish. I now want to go to trade school to pursue a new passion. The trade school is $10k. I do not want to take any more loans. My family doesn’t/can’t help much. I really want to start trade school to be an esthetician but I can’t. On top of that my stepdad wants to kick me out of the house in January. He wants me to move out with my boyfriend. I don’t know what to do. I’m basically pressuring my boyfriend to move out when I know he’s scared to! I’m putting him in a position he isn’t ready to be in. He does want to move out but he wants to save more money first. I have no other choice as my stepdad wants to kick me out!
My problem is not moving out. I know that me and my boyfriend will be able to figure out living in a studio and paying bills. I don’t know what to do because I really want to go to school. I have no idea how I’m going to get money for school. All my money will be going to living expenses soon. I don’t want to be in debt. I’m thinking about making a GoFundMe hoping I can get some help with school. I’m hoping financial aid will help me once I’m living on my own. What do I do? I applied for scholarships and other things like that. Please help.
Beacons-of-Light reply
We are a group of seniors living in a retirement community and we’re glad that you wrote to Elder Wisdom Circle and we are sorry to hear that you are struggling as you try to determine what your next steps to your future are. It seems unfortunate to us that your stepfather is being so adamant about his desire for you to move out. Some of us are wondering if it would be possible for you to sit down with him and possibly your mother and see if there were any other compromises that could be made that would allow you to continue living under their roof? Would you be able to pay them a partial rent to continue to live there instead of having to commit to an obligation of a lease or rental property? That can really blow through your money?! Some other things we want you to think of the effort that you put forth to help around the house? Do you chip in with chores and pick up after yourself? Are there things that you could be doing better that would allow him to grant you a little more time to decide what your future might look like before he puts you out on the street?
It’s wonderful that your boyfriend is willing to move out with you (even if it is tentatively, however, we respect his desire to want to save more money while you can). As far as accumulating more debt, we hugely admire your desire to be smart about your future regarding your finances. If you truly don’t want to accumulate more debt than it sounds like you’re going to have to start working full-time and save money to be able to attend the school that you wish to attend. It’s not uncommon for people to acquire loans for their schooling and we are from the old school and believe that you should work for what you want. We applaud your efforts for grants, scholarships and any other type of financial support you can get. While we’re not completely familiar with the GoFundMe page we have enough knowledge (to be dangerous) to think that those types of pages should be used for people that are in either a health crisis or having and experiencing some type of tragedy in their life. We know other people do use it for crazy reasons too and we guess on the one hand if you can get people to support your goal for education, more power to you.
We all agree that one of the most difficult things about growing up is having to make decisions and choices, especially when we’re not sure what the right one is. But don’t allow fear to stop you from reaching your dreams and if you really want to go to school then we don’t think not having financials that stop you. Be honest with your family ask him if there’s anything you can do to have their support and you’re not talking about financial support! We think you sound like a lovely young woman and feel pretty confident that you will be about to determine what will work for you. Remember a little hard work never hurt anyone and sometimes when we have to work hard for something that it is sweeter when we reach our goals! We are really wishing you the best of luck as you work towards your new goals!
Letter #: 451874
Category: Career