I really like this guy, but my mom wanted to meet him before we even went on our first date!

If he’s a decent guy, he’ll agree to meet her, says our elder.

Dear EWC

So I like this guy and I honestly want it to work out with him and I see myself with him. Only problem is my mom is Haitian and very old school, as well as very over protective. She wanted to meet him when I was supposed to go on my first date with him. I didn’t bring him over and so I just went on the date, but now she is saying that she has to meet him before I go anywhere. I really wanna see him again without all this chaos but I’m so confused. The only reason why I won’t bring him to meet my mom is because I think it’s too early. We are still trying things out and I think I should be able to see if I want to bring him home instead of being forced. Please help me.

Danray replies

I understand your question. At times it can seem awkward to bring a boy home to meet your parents before dating. If you think you’re nervous, imagine the boy having to meet your parents and in essence getting judged on how you look and act. I can relate to being one of those boys who had to meet several parents before I was allowed to date their daughter.

Saying all of this, I have respect for parents who would like to meet the boy that is going to date their daughter. There’s nothing wrong with getting to know him and frankly letting him know that it’s important that their daughter date a “fine” young man. When the woman I was about to date asked for me to come over and pick her up at her home to meet her parents (one time it was just the mom), I wasn’t taken aback or anything. Frankly, I respected the parents and realized the woman I was about to date came from a nice family. You didn’t mention your age, but I know that you think your mom is conservative and/or over protective. But there’s nothing wrong with her request. If the young man you intend to date is respectful of you and your family, he’ll understand the request and shouldn’t mind meeting your mom. I would agree that it’s a little awkward if your mom wants to meet him before every date but I would expect her to be a little more flexible as time goes on.

Even though you think it’s too early and “we are still trying things out and I think I should be able to see if I want to bring him home instead of being forced”, you’re respecting your mom and her request. Don’t overthink this and the meeting with your mom doesn’t have to be a big deal unless you make it one.

Hope this helps and I wish you the best going forward.

Letter #: 441175
Category: Family