Everything was paid for, and then we had to cancel.

I am so disappointed! You cannot control this virus, says our elder, but you can still get married. Have a small ceremony and focus on the two of you.

Dear EWC

I was about to get married at the end of March. Yesterday we cancelled everything. My family are in Iran and they were going to come here on the 12th. I had everything booked, so happy, so much waiting. I have not seen them for two years. I did a lot of work to get their visas. But now because of Covid-19, they cannot come. The flights are cancelled and Australia does not accept them either. My partner and I had a long talk. We don’t know when this will be over but we decided to cancel the wedding for now. Postpone it for later. I have lost so much money. Plane tickets will be refunded but I bought them good seats. I also had booked hotels. Also the visas will not be refunded. I cannot stop crying. I am so sad and disappointed. I don’t know what to do. I cannot shift my focus and I have nothing to look forward to.

Hedwig replies

There are some things you can control and others that you cannot. You cannot control this virus that is frightening us all. You cannot control the governments that will or will not permit travel. Time will ease this; the disease will end, and people will be able to travel again.

However, there is one thing that you can absolutely control — whether and when you get married. What if you married now? You would then have something wonderful to look forward to as you build your life together. There would be no time to cry. The love and ceremony are between the two of you. Friends and family are wonderful to have around, but not necessary. You could have a quiet ceremony now and make a bigger celebration when things return to normal.

If you love each other, my strong advice is to get married and enjoy each other’s love and companionship. Why should either of you have to endure this alone? Stop crying, wipe your eyes, hug each other, and go on with your lives.

The best kind of problems can be solved if they are only about money. You will earn more money in the future. It is sad that you have lost money, but focus on what you do have: health and love. Later, you can visit your folks, or they can visit you. Do not let external situations beyond your control spoil your happiness together. Focus on what is important — the two of you! Look forward to your bright future together.

Letter #: 455789
Category: Family