Let it go. Or in this case, let him go.

Our elder wonders why we put up with partners who treat us poorly. His advice—don’t.

Dear EWC:

So, I met my online (long distance) boyfriend on a sketchy online website. At first, he was the sweetest and funniest dude I ever met. He was always flirting with me—until we started dating.

The 1,000 miles between us wasn’t such an issue; it’s how he slowly turned into this spoiled a-hole. He used to ask me all the time if I was ok, which was sweet, but now he only asks when he sees that I’m annoyed. He used to write cute stuff, but now emojis replace it. He used to brag about me all the time and say how much I mean to him; now it’s only when he’s horny.
But besides his subtle changes, he keeps mentioning his girl best friend. He says things like “if only you were shorter like A” or he just belittles me compared to her, and sometimes even to him. He always finds ways to push my buttons to annoy me.
I’m a really shy and kind person when it comes to confronting someone so I usually wait the issues out, but a friend asked me if I see him in my future and that’s when I realized I didn’t. Can you please give me advice? And thank you!!

Salvador replies:

Let him go. That is what came to my mind as I was reading your message. What would you do if a friend of yours describes the same situation? I venture a guess that you would tell her to dump the guy. Well, do that.

I wonder, how come you keep putting up with him. Your letter sounds like you are upset and don’t like what he is doing now. Don’t wait and do what you know you need to do.

Lastly, I recommend you stop this online dating. If the individual is near where you live, maybe that is OK because you have a chance to meet him in person. Many people who date online tend to make themselves look much better than they are, physically and as a person.

Going on a real date helps you have a better evaluation of the individual as you talk to him. You can see his expressions as you tell him how you feel about things, your goals, likes, dislikes, etc. He can see the same of you.
A word of caution: Before you meet anyone in person, take safety measures to protect yourself. Very often, many people have crime thoughts in mind. Be careful about that. Don’t let your emotions cloud common sense.

I hope this reply helped and I wish you the best.

Letter #: 452880
Category: Dating/Relationship