When you’ve given it the ol’ college try and you’re still not succeeding, maybe it’s time for a change.

Read on for our elder’s take on how to explain it to your parents.

Dear EWC:

Hi so it has been a really rough couple of months for me especially in school. I have been suffering through homework, exams, barely passing grades, terrible teachers, and my lack of motivation, and now I am suddenly receiving these thoughts of QUITTING or more accurately CHANGING MY COLLEGE COURSE.

At first I thought I was just spouting nonsense, then the more that I thought about it, it started to make some sense. I don’t know if I can do this anymore. I feel as though I can never catch up to my classmates or that I am always the dumbest in the room. I sometimes don’t get lessons and it scares the crap out of me that I won’t be enough for this course. I wanted to do this. I wanted to complete this and get that degree but what if I shouldn’t.

I am afraid that all my efforts will go to nothing and that I am going to waste the money my parents put into my education because I am not good enough. I can’t disappoint them but I get so tired and hopeless sometimes that I feel like I have no other choice but to look somewhere else. I don’t really know what to do. I want to do this but I am so scared that the more I do this, the more I waste my parents’ time, efforts, and money.

Folk replies:

Please, please stop beating yourself up. You may have chosen this course of study for yourself, but you didn’t really know what you were getting into when you signed up for it, but NOW you do. What you have learned the hard way is that it is not the right one for you. No wonder you are struggling and stressed trying to keep up. You are very sensibly thinking about changing majors, but you are scared because you aren’t sure this is the right thing to do. Trust me: IT IS.

That said, if you feel you are not able to talk to your parents alone, I suggest you ask a trusted relative or friend whom your parents respect to help you talk to them. Your parents will be less upset if you approach them with a plan for your future than if you tell them that you want to change your course of study because you are failing. Perhaps you want to change colleges or work part-time while going to school part-time. If you are having a hard time coming up with a plan, there are online resources available to help you determine your interests and strengths (and suggest possible career goals).

You might have to take some heat from your parents, but it will be nothing compared to the suffering you will feel in yourself if you continue down the rough road you are on. Your parents want you to be successful, so once they understand that the way forward involves changing your course of study, they will come around.
I hope this helps. I am always here if you’d like to talk more about this. Please try to write back to let me know you’ve spoken to your parents and made a plan. I will be thinking of you.

School
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