We were friends but now he’s avoiding me. 

Well you weren’t wrong, says our elder. But your timing might have been a bit off. 

 

Dear EWC

Hi! I hope you’re having a nice day. So a couple weeks ago I blocked my ex. We broke up five months ago and decided to stay friends. It was good we were on good terms but then he got a gf. So I decided to block him to not get in the way of their relationship. And I did it out of respect for the gf because if I was in her position I wouldn’t want my boyfriend talking to his ex. But I also did it for myself, because I felt like I couldn’t fully move on unless I did. And he didn’t take it well, which is valid. He keeps avoiding me every time I see him in public. I didn’t have a single bad intention when I did it. All I’m asking is, whoever is seeing this, did I do the right thing by blocking him?

 

Folk replies

I know you didn’t mean to hurt your ex’s feelings by blocking him, but I think that’s what you did. It isn’t that you did anything wrong; it’s more that your timing in doing it may have been a bit off. After all, even after you and he broke up five months ago, the two of you stayed friends and kept talking. It wasn’t until he got a new girlfriend a few weeks ago that you decided to block him – and you did this without saying anything to him about it first. If you had told him ahead of time what you planned to do and explained your reasons for doing it, he might not have been so hurt. Instead, you just all of a sudden stopped talking to him. Under the circumstances, I don’t think you can’t really blame him for being hurt and confused.

Maybe if you had blocked him months ago when you broke up, he would have understood your need to pause contact in order to get him out of your head and move on. But doing this five months later, after he got a new girlfriend, makes it seem like you did it out of spite or jealousy. I’m not saying that this is why you did it; I’m saying that because your ex doesn’t understand why you decided to do it now, this is what he might think. If so, it could explain why he’s been avoiding you in public.

If you want to try to repair your relationship with your ex, I suggest you try talking to him and explaining why you decided to block him now. Tell him that you were not trying to hurt him and that you were only trying to be respectful of his new relationship. Hopefully, he will understand that you meant well and start talking to you again.

I hope this helps. I am always here if you’d like to talk more about this. Please try to write back if you can to let me know what you decide to do and what happens. I will be rooting for you.

Article #: 468162

Category: Dating/Relationship