This letter writer is being treated for anxiety – trouble is, she faked her personality and it’s the wrong diagnosis. 

Our elder encourages her to be honest with her psychologist.

Dear EWC

This year has been really hard for me and I think my family noticed that, at least my mom did, so she (harshly) made me go to a psychologist. I got diagnosed with anxiety, but the thing is I think that it might be the wrong diagnosis. I tend to fake my personality around people and with the psychologist it was no different. I told her about my problems with people and how I like to be alone, told her that I plan stuff months ahead and that I easily burst into tears. But I couldn’t mention that I don’t feel much empathy and that I have some aggressive thoughts about people and cry because I feel extreme envy of others. I don’t know if I can open up to others about this. My bf knows this to some extent, but I can’t bring myself to fully tell him how I feel. I can’t talk about this to my mom or I would get in bigger trouble but being treated for anxiety doesn’t feel any help at all.

Here4U

Being treated for anxiety is not going to help you if that is the wrong diagnosis.

If you faked your personality and withheld your true problems from the psychologist, I do not see how they could have helped you. The whole point in seeing a psychologist is to open up and be honest. You need to reveal to them what you are having difficulty dealing with so that they can help you.

I hope that you realize that anything that you discuss with a therapist, psychologist or psychiatrist is always strictly confidential. They cannot repeat what you have discussed with them so they would not be able, for example, to tell your mother what was discussed in your session, which might have been a concern for you. Also, a psychologist is not there to judge you, and nothing is going to shock them as, in their practice, most have heard practically everything.

I believe that seeing a psychologist can be very beneficial as long as you are truthful with them. I would suggest that you go back for another session with them, and this time not withhold anything from them. If you did not feel comfortable opening up with that particular psychologist, you can always see a different one and you can do so until you find one who you feel you click with. You may prefer a woman over a man or someone who is closer to your age and that choice could help you to be more comfortable in disclosing. 

You have said that you lack empathy. Possibly, you have a different view of what you consider empathy to be. I believe that empathy is being able to understand the feelings of another. Empathy allows one to be able to put themselves in another’s position. If you honestly suspect that you are lacking in empathy, I believe the best person to determine that would be a professional such as a psychologist.

I believe that almost everyone at some time in their lives feels envious of others, especially when they are going through a particularly hard time. You have said that this year has been really hard for you. Possibly, you have looked at others who appear to have such easy lives and in comparison, you felt it was not fair. I think in a situation such as that it is natural to feel envious as you probably would wish that you had it that easy. Whatever the reason, I am sure it does not make you feel good and again I believe you can use the help that a psychologist offers. 

I am not a professional in this area; however, there are resources available to you that could be helpful. You could go to: Shatter the Mask and Stop Hiding Your True Self. It is at:

https://mathiasbarra.medium.com/shatter-the-mask-and-stop-hiding-your-true-self-61267e5c61f6

You could also go to: How to be Your True Self and What’s Been Stopping You. It is at:

https://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-be-your-real-self-and-whats-been-stopping-you/

I think that you will only be wasting your time if you continue to see the psychologist under the pretense that it is for your anxiety. Psychologists are not mind readers. I strongly suggest that you allow your sessions to be productive by being honest and forthcoming. I would suggest that you ask yourself what could happen that would be so terrible if you were to show them your real self and your real problems? In my opinion, your problems are not as bad as you seem to think they are, and they certainly do not make you a bad person.

Like most of us, it sounds as if you could use someone in your life to talk to. You have said that you cannot talk with your mom about your problems and that you have not fully opened up to your boyfriend. I suggest that you use the visits to the psychologist for the excellent opportunity that it is to be able to open up without judgment. I believe that once you have talked it out you will feel a huge sense of relief.

I hope that this has been helpful to you. If in the future you would like advice, please feel free to write again.

I wish you only a correct diagnosis that can be of help to you.  

Article #: 474316

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