It’s always been my dream – but now my parents are being manipulative and won’t help me.

I doubt they’re being dishonest, says our elder. Here’s how to approach it with them.

 

Dear EWC

I’m a high-schooler whose dream is to study abroad for higher education. It has been my dream since childhood and my parents also encouraged me about it. So, I was excited and pretty much ready for the adventure. But recently it seems that they have changed their mind. Right now, is the time to prepare for my future. While all my friends are choosing paths according to their choices, my parents show no interest in me nor they agree to help me. I tried talking to them about my wishes and plans. All I could find out of them is that their plans have changed. They don’t want to send me abroad anymore. But literally that’s what motivated me to continue my education all along. I’ve been a good student and put in all that affords just so I can go abroad to pursue my dream. But the hope they gave me became a lie. I’m so stressed about it. And for some reason, they chose to be confidential and manipulative. Since the time we found out that our desires don’t match anymore, they didn’t talk to me about it despite my requests. They are making me walk down a path blindfolded leading the way and telling me to trust them because they are my parents. They want the best for me. At least tell me where you are leading me to. If you want the best for me, it doesn’t hurt to tell me. Moreover, it hurts me knowing that you guys don’t trust me enough to tell me.

 

BES replies

It is possible that they have reasons which they are more comfortable not disclosing to you. It is possible that they are afraid for your safety, they are in a financial situation where they can no longer afford it or they may just think they would miss you too much and not be able to see much of you.

I cannot believe that they are being manipulative or dishonest. 

How I would approach it to your parents would be something like this:

“You know how much I have wanted to study abroad and had supported me in that idea for years. I am confused as to why you have changed your mind. I would appreciate it if you would tell me your reasoning. I promise not to argue with you about it, but I just would really like to know to help ease my mind.”

If that doesn’t work, then I would suggest that unless you are able to study abroad and support yourself, try and be looking for a university in the area where you live. It is possible that once you have finished your education, you can obtain a job abroad and you will be older. Your parents likely won’t have legal control of you once you finish your schooling.

Good luck to you. 

Article #: 478266

Category: Career