He died in September and I can’t get through the pain. 

It is possible to move on, says our elder. Start with finding someone to talk to.

 

Dear EWC

How do you move forward when you lose someone incredibly important to you or someone you depended on? My dad died in September and I miss him terribly. I want just one more hug and conversation. Ever since then I can’t stop thinking about death. My dog is getting older and every time I look at him, I wonder how I’m going to survive when he’s gone. I enjoy family time less because I think about a future day when we all won’t be together. I feel like I mourn for past loss, present loss, and future loss and it just consumes me with grief. Any advice on how to move through this pain without getting stuck in it would be appreciated.

 

Lawry replies

I would be happy to answer your letter. I know exactly what it feels like to have a father die that you were very close to. I ended up seeking help from a psychotherapist to help me deal with my loss. My primary care doctor gave me the name of someone. It was one of the best things I have done for myself. She really helped me to deal with the grief and loss I was dealing with on a day-to-day basis. This is something that you might consider.

Another thought is to get involved in a grief support group. Funeral homes usually offer these. If you live near where your father died you could contact the funeral home that handled his funeral and inquire about a grief support group. They should be able to help you out with that. It can be very helpful to talk with people, like yourself, that are struggling with their grief under the guidance of a trained leader. If you don’t live near there you might contact a funeral home in your area and explain your situation and ask if they might be able to help you out. Or you could contact your father’s funeral home and ask their advice since you don’t live in the area.

I still think about my father from time to time and enjoy thinking of fun things we did together and funny moments. I no longer mourn the loss so I know it is possible to work through this and move on.

I hope that this has been helpful to you, and I wish you well as you move forward with your life and deal with your loss. My heart goes out to you. Think positive. I am a great believer in that. 

Article #: 462804

Category: Self-Improvement