But I still feel overwhelmed! 

Take a step back, says our elder, and focus on one or two things at a time. And be proud of yourself for working to correct your mistakes and improve your life.

 

Dear EWC

Hello! Recently, I made a mess out of my life. I was really down and upset about the negative consequences that occurred and was depressed about it. However, with my friends’ support, I decided to face my problems instead of running away from them. I took responsibility and held myself accountable for the mistakes I’ve made in the past. I decided to improve myself so that I can never make those mistakes again. However, as I try to face it all, I still feel anxious about it even though I know that it is the right thing to do and I have this feeling to run away from it, again. Can you offer me some advice and/or insights about what I should do?

 

IslandMike replies

Thanks for reaching out for help with your issue. I hope I can give you some help with resolving it.

If I understand you correctly, you are feeling overwhelmed as you tackle the job of correcting the mistakes you have made in your life. Is that correct?

First of all, I commend you for recognizing that you made mistakes and more so for desiring to correct them and improve your life. That shows you are a thoughtful, caring person. You should be proud of yourself.

Since I do not know what mistakes you are concerned with or how much effort may be required to resolve them, I can only say that if there are too many things to do and you are feeling overwhelmed it can help to take a step back and concentrate only on one or two problems.

There is an old saying. “Question: How do you eat an elephant? Answer: One bite at a time.”

What this means is that if you try to do too many things at once, you may end up overwhelmed by the total job and end up not doing much of anything. Taking small bites at the problem can keep you from giving up.

So, take one concern of yours and focus on that concern. Do what you need to resolve this issue. When you have finished with that, then go on to another issue. After a while, you will see that you are really making a lot of progress.

Remember that on some days you may feel overwhelmed even if you are only focusing on one thing. It’s okay to allow yourself some time off when that happens. So, if you are not feeling like dealing with something on a bad day, let it go and get back to it the next day. Just don’t keep putting it off day after day. If you have to, make an ‘appointment’ with yourself to get back to working on the issue. Having time to start again may help to keep you from avoiding your issues.

Finally, is there someone in your life that you can ask for help from time to time? A friend, family member, clergy person? On days when you are feeling down, maybe asking for help from these people will keep you on track. Just don’t overload them with your problems.

I hope I have given you some ideas to think about. Please keep working on yourself – you deserve it!

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