My teachers call me supercilious. Is this why people stay away? 

It’s great that you’re asking these questions, says our elder. Think before you speak and just do the best you can.

 

Dear EWC

I do know you perhaps cannot answer this without talking to me personally, but I’ve been craving to sort this out for ages. People find me very uninteresting and keep away from me, except my close buddies. And of late, teachers have begun to say I’m highly supercilious in nature. They used to look at me as a prodigy because I’ve juxtaposed academics and co-curriculars pretty well. But now some have begun to be condescending. And somehow, I begin to throw tantrums. I have this burning desire to be a very good person, and I tell myself that’s the reason why I start weeping when I hear such things. I tell myself I’m boring and that’s why I have few friends, and being boring is no crime. But now this question arises: am I arrogant in nature? If so, how can I sort it out? P.S. It’s not that I just have a desire to be a good guy, I’ve been trying hard to, but somehow things don’t go my way, and I’m starting to feel depressed.

 

Granny-Nora replies

It is a good sign that you are asking these questions about yourself. That says that you truly do want to be a good person. Self-reflection is always a good thing. Don’t get depressed about these things; complete the self-analysis, make a plan to change what needs to change, and keep track of your progress in self-improvement.

Intelligent people are usually not boring; just misunderstood. My oldest daughter is an aeronautical engineer who builds military satellites – yes, a true rocket scientist. When she gets on a roll talking about technical stuff, I just nod my head and let her talk, as everything goes right over my head. That doesn’t mean she is boring. She just sometimes forgets that she doesn’t think on the same level as the average person. She gets excited about the wonderful knowledge rolling around in her head and wants to share it with those people she loves. There is nothing wrong with that.

Having said that, there is a difference between sharing knowledge you are excited about and looking down on others. As you share your knowledge, you must be careful how you use your words. Your words should never come out in such a way that they make others look or feel stupid. Think before you speak. Think about how you would feel if you were listening to the words come from someone else’s mouth. If you think there is any chance that your words could be offensive to others, check yourself.

We all make mistakes and offend others. When that happens, it is important to take responsibility for our actions and apologize. Try to make it right. Then we learn from our mistakes and move on. We will try to do better next time. Don’t get depressed. Just do the best you can to try to improve how you relate to others. Always remember that kindness is the heart of a good person.

I hope that helps. If you have questions or problems in the future, please write to Elder Wisdom Circle. We are here to help.

Article #: 416899

Category: Self-Improvement