The date went really well, but when I asked for a kiss, she shied away. 

Don’t feel rejected, says our elder. Put it down to nerves and try again.

 

Dear EWC

I need some help figuring out why I was rejected for a kiss. So, me and this girl have been on a number of dates and we are both attracted to each other. She told me she trusted me and told me stories she doesn’t like to tell other people. She had me meet her family (aunts and grandparents included) and was frantic to meet mine. I took her home on our last date and we spent a good 20 minutes chatting on her doorstep. I had to go and we hugged and I felt the urge to kiss her. I asked her if I could and she made a huge smile and shied away from the question. She didn’t say “no” but her body language did so I told her goodbye and left. Why did she do what she did even with our attraction to each other?

 

Linda replies

The way I see it, you were not rejected. It was likely just a case of nerves. If she has opened up to you about her life, seems mutually attracted to you and wants you to meet her family, these are all positive signs she’s very much into you. 

I think deep down this girl is shy and a bit nervous and scared to kiss you. Girls worry about different things than boys do. She may have felt for whatever reason that she wasn’t quite ready to kiss you yet. It in no way implies she doesn’t want to, only that in the moment, she felt reluctant to do so. I assume when you said she “shied away from the question,” that she failed to respond one way or the other.  She may have felt too nervous to answer and likely was hoping you’d just kiss her.

Don’t lose heart, and certainly don’t give up on this girl. You may have misinterpreted her body language. As you continue to see one another and grow closer in all aspects of the relationship, I believe things will become more intimate between you. If you feel she’s continuing to rebuff your advances, you may need to ask her straight out why she doesn’t want a kiss from you. I don’t believe that will be the case, however, as she’s likely just a little spooked about it. Some girls are afraid they won’t be a good kisser or perhaps she’d eaten something she thought might ruin the kiss for you. It could be just that simple. 

I understand that what felt like rejection hurt your pride and your feelings. I’m quite certain that was not her intent. Hang in there and try again!

Article #: 403950

Category: Dating/Relationship