He left me for another girl and then he went to jail – but we’re giving it another try. Can we make it work?
Not without trust, says our elder. It’s time to reevaluate.
Dear EWC
About a year ago my boyfriend cheated on me and then left me for another girl. Soon after they started dating, he went to jail for five months. While he was in jail with his new girlfriend, she cheated on him and left him for another guy and I also got around with guys and when he got out of jail, he decided to call me and we decided to give our relationship a try but he keeps getting upset and angry at me for things I did while he was in jail with the girl he left me for. Can things be forgiven or will there always be absolutely no trust for either one of us anymore?
Joseph replies
Your reunion with your ex doesn’t seem to be working out. Trust seems to be the underlying issue. What’s the best way forward for you?
You were initially involved with a man who cheated on you and then left you for someone else. Now you are back with him and things aren’t going very smoothly. He’s angry a lot. For some reason, he thinks you should answer to him for your behavior while he was in jail. That sure doesn’t make much sense. In any case, trust now seems to be an issue for both of you.
Trust is the glue that holds relationships together. Without it, relationships will fall apart. Or worse, couples will remain together and live unhappily. That seems to be where you are right now.
Perhaps a bigger question for you to consider might be: “Why am I even with this guy?” Your past and present with him can hardly be classified as happy. Why even be in a relationship if it is not adding an element of happiness to your life?
It can be easy to get stuck in an unhappy relationship. This has happened to me more than once. What was supposed to be a happy occasion turned out to be a never-ending drama. I completely lost sight of the fact that the goal of getting together with someone is happiness. Sure, there are some bumps in the road in relationships, but if we are more miserable than we are happy in a relationship, then it is a red flag that something is wrong. It’s time to reevaluate.
You deserve to be happy, and that happiness depends in large part on who you surround yourself with. It’s a big responsibility. You must choose wisely. Sometimes this involves making tough decisions. But your happiness is worth it.
I wish you the best in whatever you decide. Let happiness be your guide. Beware of getting swallowed up by drama. Drama is not the same thing as love. Drama is pain masquerading as love.
I hope I have shed some helpful light on your situation. If anything I said is not clear, or if you would want to discuss this further, please feel free to write back. I’d be happy to hear from you.
Article #: 419255
Category: Dating/Relationship