I really like this guy, but his political beliefs? Not so much. Will this get in the way of a potential relationship? 

That depends if you can agree on the basics, says our elder. 

 

Dear EWC

So pretty much, the guy I like is my best friend. I’ve known him since we were around two or three and have liked him on and off for many many years. He’s a family friend, so we didn’t go to the same school, and just hung out every little while, family events and such. Well about two years ago, he and his family moved to the city I live in, and as if that weren’t enough, he is now my neighbor. Like our backyards connect with a fence. So, we started going to the same school. Now before, I kind of just liked him off and on in the back of my head, but had a few crushes here and there on other guys I went to school with. Now that he was at my school, it was more of a less temporary thing. I really started to like him. Anyways, we would walk home together every day, and eat lunch together every day, and everything was going well. I found out some of his personal/political beliefs differ from mine, exceptionally. Some things that I am very passionate about, he is very passionate about on the opposing side, so I’m kind of stuck, because I’m not sure I can be with someone so close-minded, but I’ve tried and I can’t stop liking him. I’m not really sure what to do. Should I let our passionate beliefs get in the way of a potential relationship, or should I stick with a friendship, where we could argue it out?

 

M-Sharon replies

This is a difficult question, but I will try to give you my best advice.

Many relationships are successful when the individuals involved disagree on politics, religion, etc., but have agreed to disagree. You can still love someone and not agree with him or her. What’s needed, however, is an agreement to respect the other person and decide not to discuss those topics. In other words, agree to disagree.

I think it depends on whether your moral compass, and his, are in agreement. I think this means that if you cannot agree on some basic issues (such as the importance of honesty, trust, integrity), then the relationship won’t work. Only you can decide if you (and him) can refrain from discussing your major differences is something you can live with. 

So, I think that it might be the right time to discuss the situation with him. You might want to tell him that you treasure his friendship, and are thinking about how to deal with your personal/political beliefs that differ from his. 

I don’t know whether his feelings for you have grown, as yours has. So, just take it one step at a time. You will know what is right for you. 

No two situations are alike.

I hope this helps.

Article #: 483243

Category: Dating/Relationship