She sent me a breakup text but next time I saw her it was just like normal. Her behavior is not acceptable, says our elder. Explain your feelings but stay upbeat.

 

Dear EWC

My best friend texted me saying that I was ruining her mental health (after we had a two-night sleepover at her house three days before) and she didn’t want to be friends anymore, but when I talked to her yesterday while we were supposed to be working on a project, it felt like nothing had ever happened between us; we talked just like we always have. I really miss her and I still want to be best friends but I don’t know how to tell her and I don’t want to look desperate if she doesn’t miss me too. We’ve been best friends for four years and have made so many plans for life once we’re out of school. Although she did say some hurtful things when she cut me off, I forgive her, I could never stay mad at her and I would never do anything to make her think I don’t love her a lot. I’ve thought about maybe buying a small gift she’ll like and leaving a note but I’m still afraid she kind of hates me. What should I do?

 

Renee replies

Any healthy relationship requires productive communication. That doesn’t include sending a text or simply telling the other person one sentence to break things off. Not acceptable. If she can’t communicate in a meaningful way, it’s up to you. You can text or call her and tell her that you would like to meet her in person for a short time. Tell her that her friendship has been very important in your life, and you need to sit down with her and talk. 

If she agrees, then, when you do meet, ask her what would have to happen for the friendship to go back to the way it was. Stay open to whatever she says. If both of you want a friendship and are being honest with each other, you can make it happen. 

If, for whatever reason, she won’t sit down with you, the best you can do is to send her an email (or better, write a letter). Tell her what the friendship has meant to you and that you are committed to making the friendship the best it can be. Stay focused and upbeat. You are not desperate. You are a good, decent, loving and caring friend who is trying to save a friendship that is important to you. 

Article #: 484151

Category: Friendship