This letter writer’s celeb crush has made him a social media influencer but is holding him back from a “real” relationship.

It’s not altogether healthy, says our elder.

 

Dear EWC

I’ve been having a parasocial relationship with a singer/actress who’s famous on TikTok, YouTube and Instagram. Because of her, I set myself to become a social media influencer with videos that have made over a few hundred thousand and even my most recent video making over 1 million views on TikTok. Let’s just say she motivated me to get social media famous lol. However, she doesn’t know I exist and my goal is to get her to notice me. I’m obsessed with her. I have her new album signed by her and I have a frame of her with her signature on my wall in my bedroom lol. Also, I’ve been private messaging her on Instagram for nearly four years. Is this a healthy thing? Should I be happy she’s gained me some fame status on social media? Btw I’m a 28-year-old man who will probably stay single even though I do date occasionally. But I’m never fully interested in them. Clearly because of my parasocial relationship.

 

Harpette replies

First of all, congrats on those million-plus views. That’s tremendous.

Second, yeah… I’m afraid that does not sound healthy. 

I understand hero worship. John Lennon played a huge part in my life although we never met. Like you, I had photos of him, record albums; I wrote frequent letters. More recently, I’ve daydreamed about online conversations with people I admire now. 

Artists often influence one another, and their work can become greater because of it. But there’s a line, and I’m a little worried. Sometimes celebrity crushes go too far and people get hurt.  

To be honest, I don’t see a future for you and this celebrity, and it looks as if your own romantic life is suffering, besides. Counseling could help you forge strong IRL relationships while allowing you to admire others in a healthier way.

I would start with the link above or look up “mental-health services” along with your geographic area. I’m sure you can find something that works for you and fits your budget. Ideally, consult a few different providers until you find one you feel comfortable talking to.

The distance between celebrities and the common person may seem to blur and shrink these days, but it’s still there, and people still deserve privacy. Not answering your Insta PMs (from what I gather) suggests this woman has her mind on other things, and of course that’s anybody’s right.

In the meantime, for your own well-being, I hope you can form positive relationships with other more attainable people. You might be happier for it.

Much good luck.

Article #: 491717

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