He wanted me to meet his new girlfriend! How can I move on? 

You can’t stop yourself thinking about him, says our elder. But you can start thinking about you. Do things that make you feel good.

 

Dear EWC

 

So, I loved this guy so much. I know he doesn’t care about me anymore. I have been having such a hard time moving on since last year. I wanted to be with him but at the same time I’m tired of always giving way, saying sorry even though it was his mistake. He blames me for that. He said we can just stay friends and he was so insensitive with my feelings. He didn’t even consider if it hurt me or if I already moved on. He even asked me if he can scout me with someone, which is so insulting and even said he doesn’t know why he can’t see me in the future, we’re only 19. I cannot forget when he asked if I wanted to meet his new chick? I’m still in the middle of the process of healing. I keep myself busy but there are still times I think of him. So how can I? It is so exhausting.

 

Grace replies

 

This is very painful. I’m glad you are sick of giving him his way, saying you are sorry, refusing to be abused. This is the healthy part of you. You have smarts and self-respect. Congratulations. 

However, your feelings are stuck on him. I think this happens when we have powerful, euphoric, happy feelings with someone. We are in love with the feeling we had and we think that person is the cause of the feeling. We think if we give them up, we can’t have that feeling again – but this is not true.

 

You have told me he is insensitive, hurtful, blaming, insulting. Do you love this? No, of course not. You love the feeling you had with him. The fact is, those feelings belong to you. You can have them again and even greater feelings. Just make sure it’s with a person who deserves you. 

 

How to get over thinking of him? You can’t stop the thought. What you can do is start thinking of you and being nice to yourself. What makes you feel good? Buy yourself flowers, scented soap, get a massage, buy something nice for yourself. Eat healthy, get plenty of sleep. Do you have hobbies? Join a group? Treat yourself the way you want to be treated by others. Time will help it fade. You will meet others. Just be sure you don’t give your heart to another guy who doesn’t deserve you. 

 

Good luck. 

 

Article #: 484821

Category: Dating/Relationship