My friend asked me to do her work for her because she was “busy”. Is it OK to ghost her? She’s no friend, says our elder. Ghosting is a pretty good strategy in this instance.

 

Dear EWC

A friend of mine got an offer from a company to design a hoodie mockup and they asked her for an online meeting. She contacted me immediately saying she needed me to do it because she always sleeps early and she thinks we should do this job together as partners. I knew right away that she did not want to attend the meeting and was only using me but I did it anyway as a favor. The next day, she told me to design the hoodies for her because she was “busy”. I was angry as she was not busy at all and did not even bother to help me yet again I did it anyway. Today, she told me that she postponed the 9pm meeting to 11pm. So that I can attend her meeting when I’m free. I’m really frustrated and plan on ghosting her until she is forced to attend her own meeting and take responsibility for her own commitments. I’m very introverted and not so vocal about my feelings, so I don’t know how to deal with her after this. Please help.

 

Good-Listener replies

I sense the frustration regarding your “friend”. Notice I put the word friend in quotes, because this does not seem like a friend to me. Allow me to be blunt. She sounds like a manipulative user who is trying to get you to do her work for her, and does not care a bit about you unless she can get what she wants.

You have a choice to make. You can continue to make excuses for her and allow her to use and exploit your time and talent, or you can tell her to find someone else to do her bidding and let go of her. In this case, in my opinion, ghosting is appropriate. Getting as far away from her as possible is what I would attempt to do. As I see it, she is no friend. Look for people who are caring and do not want to use people for their personal gain. You can do better, and will. Good luck.

Should you have other issues you would like to discuss with a member of the Elder Wisdom Circle, please do not hesitate to write. That is what we’re here for.

Article #: 494623
Category: Friendship