He was only nine months old – I have lost my baby boy forever.

I’m so sorry, says our elder. Please know that this will get better in time.

 

Dear EWC

I’m not sure this is helping me. I lost my cat exactly two weeks ago, and I just can’t stop thinking that it was my fault. He accidentally took something that was deadly poisonous but I didn’t make it home in time to get him into hospital. When I finally got home and took him to the nearest vet, he did recover a bit and I even started to think that he might pull through. But unfortunately, the nurse might have given him some improper medication and never tried to resuscitate him when his condition worsened. I lost him. I can’t forgive myself and I think I never will. He was such a handsome ginger boy, with the brightest fur. I got him from the dumpster when he was just two weeks old and had to bottle feed him. It was just last June but it already feels like ages ago. He was only nine months old. How can I believe that I’ve lost my baby boy forever. Love just came undone.

DonM replies

I’m so sorry that you are dealing with this significant loss. It sounds like you really loved your cat and it is understandable that you are experiencing an emotional reaction. It is difficult to deal with loss because our culture really doesn’t give us much guidance or support. Some people don’t understand the emotional bond that can develop between a pet and its owner, and often they tend to minimize that experience. However, the feelings you hold with respect to your cat are normal and understandable. 

Pets are often the first experience we have with loss in our lives, and I think they serve as a lesson as to what we need when loss occurs. Although you had your cat for a brief period, I would urge you to think about the good life that you provided for him during his short time on earth. Life in the dumpster would have probably been short and difficult for him. You rescued him from that fate, and that is a good thing. It sounds like you both helped each other. I hope you can find comfort in the good life that you gave him. 

Unfortunately, guilt accompanies all grief. We imagine what we could have done, or what we should have done. It sounds to me like you did the best you could in taking him to the hospital. I’m sorry the outcome wasn’t better for you and for him. I urge you to forgive yourself. You’re human, and when we look back, we can always imagine better courses of action with better outcomes. However, at the time we do what we can do, and what you did was good. I don’t think you have anything to feel guilty about. You have learned that you have lots of love and care to provide for a pet, and I hope you will carry that forward in the future. There are other cats that deserve to experience your love and care.

Again, I’m sorry for the pain you are feeling. Please know that it will pass with time, and be replaced with positive memories.  I hope you find some of this helpful, and I wish you the best in your future. 

Article #: 487261
Category: Family