“I wanted to find something where I could grow as a person, but now I cannot find any job at all. Instead of growing, I feel like I am shrinking.”
Our Elder Says: Employers can tell when someone is burned out or reluctant to work. Explore what job you would really enjoy and pursue that, even if it doesn’t have the best pay to start out.
Dear EWC,
After six years there, I quit my job because I felt like I was not growing there. But since then, my mind has never relaxed. I thought I could always go back to where I was, but I have submitted multiple applications and I keep getting rejected. I don’t know if it is because I still feel burnout, or because subconsciously I don’t want to work yet. As the months goes by, with all the rejections and wrong decisions I keep making I feel like my brain is shrinking and it is resisting any hard thinking. I tried reading self-improvement books, but I drop it whenever I get anxiety. Instead of growing, I think I put myself into self-destruct mode. Help.
Irene Response
Dear Nicole,
We at EWC are not professionals or therapists; we are elders who have had life experiences like anyone else. Most of us have learned from our mistakes… yet as humans we are still learning. That is life, I think. My response below is only based on my opinion, and my opinion is only my perspective. That’s not to say it is right or wrong; my intent is to shine a light on your path, so that you may find the solutions that work for you.
Nicole, the feelings of stagnation are real to you right now, and as you’ve not found suitable employment, your mind is racing about your future prospects. As you likely know, our fears drive our thought processes, and yet, our fears are not real. I don’t know the statistics, I just know that during my lifetime, my fears rarely came to fruition.
I’m wondering if you’re ready to take some small steps forward. I’m also wondering if you’ve been pushing aside uncomfortable feelings by distracting yourself rather than experiencing the myriad of emotions happening for you. What I mean by experiencing is being mindful of the body feelings (shortness of breath, tight chest, gut issues) and also acknowledging your anxiety or sadness.
Work on staying present, accepting and understanding that your feelings and emotions are temporary. They ebb and flow as time passes.
Look back to your last employment, what was it that you did well and that you enjoyed about the job? Were your expectations of upward mobility realistic based on the industry you were in? Had you learned the ins and out of the company thoroughly? It could be you are focused on trying to find the wrong kind of job. Yes, money is absolutely important for survival, however, if at all possible, consider the possibility to accept a lesser pay range if the company has growth opportunities. My experience is that there is no perfect job.
If you need to, you can also take an “acceptable” job without a lot of upward mobility until you can find something better suited to you. You learned a hard lesson; it is easier to get another job if you have a current job. It’s all about opening up your world and giving yourself options and choices, rather than closing doors on yourself and limiting possibilities. Right now, there are more job openings than there are people to fill them, so it’s perplexing why you aren’t getting job offers.
Perhaps it is the way you are presenting yourself; like you said, something subconscious is driving you and perhaps you don’t want to work yet. This is something prospective employers may be sensing. Or perhaps they aren’t interested because of your responses saying you topped out at your previous employer. What you say about being unemployed or wanting to leave a current employer has a lot to do with how prospective employers see you. Candidates that say they were burned out or stressed, often get passed over. Job burnout and stress is self-created, and everyone experiences it. Sometimes supervisors pass on their stress, but here’s the secret: we don’t have to accept it. Most situations are temporary, and I believe we can handle just about anything when we know it will end. To me, it is about shifting our perspectives.
I wonder why you don’t want to work? Everyone needs to work to self-sustain, not only monetarily, but more importantly, on an emotional and intellectual level. We need to stay busy, contribute, interact with others, etc. But I can understand you not wanting to go back into the work environment you left, and I don’t think you have to do that.
You were burned out and quit. So now your job is to find another job. Perhaps it is the type of work you’ve chosen over what could be meaningful to you. To start, I suggest you take an online job interest survey. Google “what kind of work am I suited for.” Most of these online tools are free, and I wouldn’t recommend paying for one. You normally have to answer twenty or more questions, then the program feeds back to you the types of industries you are well suited for based on interests and skills.
Until you get a new job, what are you doing to improve your prospects? Do you need to take a class or two to hone your skills? While you can be intimidated by the timeframe to finish a course of study, the reality is that the time is going to go by anyway. Putting off more education only prolongs your completion date.
Another option is to volunteer in the area of interest until something suitable comes along. You get great job experience and you get to find out if what you actually like to do. I do know this: if you do nothing, then nothing will change. You already started by taking a step away from all the negativity by writing to us.
When employers see you are applying yourself, they see a motivated individual. I think you’re ready to go to work, you just need to find the right industry. After all, evidence of that is in the fact that you wrote a letter seeking help. You’re ready Nicole. I hope my response has been helpful to you. You can do this, believe in yourself.
Best Wishes,
Irene
Article #: 492494
Category: Self-Improvement