Worried People Will Make Fun Us for Dating

 

Original Letter

Hi my name is Daniel and I need some advice. So I’m in 8th grade right now and there’s this girl that I can’t stop thinking about and I really like her. We are really good friends and we make each other laugh and feel happy. I’m pretty sure she likes me and feels the same way I do. I’m thinking about asking her out but there’s a small problem. She’s not the most popular girl in school which doesn’t matter to me but if we start dating people might start saying stuff about us and making Fun of us and I don’t want to be embarrassed so what should I do

Elder Response

Daniel, how one’s peers at your age act about a variety of topics including relationships can be immature.  Those immature actions and comments can hurt.  I experienced them at your age, and some hurt more than others.  So, I understand why you have these concerns.  I hope my comments will help.

While I stated that I understand, I also think that how your peers may act about a relationship really shouldn’t affect your relationship decisions.  Do you like her?  Do you respect her?  You believe she likes you.  You are already really good friends and you laugh together and you are happy around her.  If they do say ‘stuff’ about the two of you, then that indicates their lack of maturity. You can only be embarrassed if you acknowledge their remarks and don’t have confidence in yourself and in this girl.

I don’t dismiss the effect such remarks can have on you and this girl.  Ultimately, you must decide what is comfortable for you, consider her feelings, and consider how much influence your peers have over your personal decisions.  If you proceed, then the remarks may occur.  You should also be prepared to support her, because she may be hurt by the remarks.

Good luck, Daniel!

Best Regards,

RandyP