An older woman hit on him… and now she wants to hook him up with her cousin instead.

Steer well clear, says our elder.

Dear EWC

I was talking to an older woman (28) and everything was going well. She seemed really into me and I was really into her. So, she told me she was really happy she met me and I said the same thing back. She also called me sexy (I don’t know if she was playing or what but I don’t think she would say it if she didn’t actually think it lol). But long story short, she told me she and her ex are talking about getting back together after two unsuccessful marriage attempts, but “not right now” because she said she is trying to be a good mother. She said I’m really, really sweet and she might have a cousin she can hook me up with. But what does this mean? Like I honestly don’t want her cousin — I want her. But I understand if she and her ex might be getting married soon. But any opinions are greatly appreciated.

Grammy-Lin replies

Thanks for writing to us. So, an “older woman” seems to have been hitting on you, and yeah, I can understand how that would be pretty flattering to your ego. Let’s face it, everyone likes a compliment and being told you’re sexy is a pretty nice one.

Now, in your letter you don’t mention how old you are, so I don’t really know how much older this woman is. But what stands out to me is that she is a mother and someone who seems a little mixed up about her off and on marriage. She wants to get married to her ex again but not yet. Does that sound like a good situation to you?

In my opinion, getting involved with someone like that is asking for a role in a soap opera. Do you really want to get involved in all the drama of her life? She may be playing to see what you’ll do. It sounds to me like she’s having fun teasing you to get a reaction from you. This, of course, feels good to her ego because she can feel like she’s still got the moves and can turn a young guy like you on.

My advice is to enjoy the compliment but let it go at that. A tease or a player is bad news all around. She’s not being fair to her on/off husband and is sure not being a good role mother for her kid(s). Sometimes the best thing to do is enjoy the moment but don’t act on impulsive feelings. 

I hope my advice is helpful to you, and I wish you the very best. Take care.

Letter #: 415378
Category: Dating/Relationship