We’ve already had sex — so why won’t my boyfriend let me see his chest? There could be any number of reasons, says our elder. He’ll tell you when he’s good and ready.

Dear EWC

So me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost four months. We have had sex a fair few times, I’ve seen his penis a lot and we have done a lot of sexual stuff. He’s touched me everywhere but for some reason, he won’t let me touch his chest, or see it. In total, I’ve seen his chest around two times. Once me and him were laying on my bed cuddling and I would rest my hand on his chest, he would move it up to his shoulder. I’d try a number of times after that (on different days) but nothing happened. I don’t understand why he won’t let me see/touch him. I’d never laugh or judge. I’ve asked about it and he says he doesn’t wanna talk about it and that it feels awkward, weird and uncomfortable but will explain/show me one day. Yes, I gave him space and never said anything more about it (because he asked me not to) trying to respect his boundaries, but I just don’t understand. Would he be embarrassed about something? Or thinks I’ll laugh (I have told him I wouldn’t laugh or anything like that), or would it have something to do with his past? Should I wait till he is ready or push it? He has never had sex with his shirt off, I don’t think with anyone. I’m his first real relationship. Would that have something to do with it?

Ketchman replies

There could be any number of reasons why your BF doesn’t want you to see his chest. He could have an “interesting” tattoo, he could be scared, he might not think it’s manly enough — and a hundred other reasons. The best thing you could do is to not press him, in any way, about it. If you continue to raise the issue it will only make him feel more uncomfortable about it and, possibly, you as well. GIve it a break. If your relationship continues to grow at some point it will no longer become an important issue for him and all will be revealed. Until then, let him keep his secret without interference.

Please call on us again, whenever you’d like a bit of advice or another opinion on just about anything that might come up. We’ll always do our best for you. Thank you for giving me a chance to help. I hope I have.

Letter #: 410510
Category: Dating/Relationship