Friends helped me get my old job back in Hawaii but now I’m not sure. Do I owe it to them to move back? 

This is one for the trusty pros and cons list, says our elder.

 

Dear EWC

I thought I was unhappy where I was at in Texas. But recently because I am happy with my job and I live in an affordable city, life has been great. The problem is I reached out to my old job in Hawaii asking for my position back and the people really helped me out and created a job position for me. My situation now is I’m not sure that I want to go back to Hawaii. I’m content where I’m at and I haven’t been this happy in a long time, I think. I am afraid about what I want to do. Hawaii isn’t bad but I get anxiety about moving, and starting over again, there. I haven’t made a decision yet and I am afraid I feel like I’m obligated to Hawaii as I have a lot of people that vouched for me for that position in Hawaii. I would feel terrible telling my old bosses and coworker friends that I changed my mind after I asked them to help me out. I know I should do what makes me happy – that’s the obvious answer. I just need more direction. Please help me.

 

Lawry replies

I would be happy to answer your letter. I can fully understand your dilemma. But I have an idea.

That is to make a list of pros and cons. You may have already done that in your head, but it really helps to write it down. This is a tool that I have used many times when making a big decision and I have always been happy with the results. You can compare staying vs. going. It’s important to be very honest with yourself as you do this. If the results are really close you can take it one step further and add a numerical value to each of your answers and add it up. 

It’s true that you should do what will make you happy. That’s what is important. I recently asked two people to be references for me for a volunteer job I wanted. It turned out as I learned more about the job that I didn’t like what I was seeing and hearing and I decided I wouldn’t take it. It felt awkward to have to tell those two people that gave me references that I wasn’t going to take that job after all. They were both very nice about it and very understanding. I am sure if you really want to stay where you are, you can explain it nicely to the people in Hawaii. Yes, they may be disappointed, but if they care about you, they will want you to be happy, too. Remember, it’s all about you. It’s your life we are talking about.

I hope that this has been helpful to you, and I wish you well as you make this decision. Think positive. I am a great believer in that. 

I would love to hear how things work out for you. I’ll be thinking of you. 

Article #: 450806

Category: Career