I feel that people dislike me or simply overlook me. It’s hard to be left out of everything. 

Stay positive, says our elder. Focus on the people who do like and respect you.

 

Dear EWC

I am a woman in my late 20s. A lot of people I’ve met in my life tend to dislike/overlook me and sometimes I feel like I am invisible. I used to wonder if it was because of my looks, but I have been receiving compliments on my looks from people of all ages so I am not sure if that’s the reason. I am outgoing, friendly and have been voted by colleagues to be a polite and supportive co-worker. I am not competitive and I try to listen when people tell me about their problems. One of my friends actually said to me that she is friends with me because she thinks I am very different from other girls. I am not a pick-me girl. I wear dresses, like the color pink and want to be friends with other girls; they just don’t happen to like me. One thing I noticed is that girls tend to not like me/overlook me. But there are some occasions when a girl would seek me out as a friend. These girls usually are a bit sporty/open-minded so I wonder if it is because of personality similarities. Guys sometimes like me and sometimes straight up ignore me. It is sad to see girls connect and I am just left out of everything. Have you ever met someone like me in your life? What was the reason for this? Thank you all so much for your advice!

Robert108 replies

Perhaps the reason you are surprised that some people like you and others ignore or dislike you is that you want to be liked by everyone, and have difficulty accepting the impossibility of that. I am sure you are nice, pleasant to be around, and a good listener, but some people may actually dislike you because of your good qualities. They might be jealous or resentful of someone who displays positivity and caring, because they are unable to do the same. It makes them feel worse by comparison. There are many reasons people dislike others. What is important is to be yourself and remain positive. You will continue to attract people who like/respect you, and the ones who do not, you have to realize that it is their problem, not yours. Continue to interact with them when you have to at work in a positive way, but let go of any need to make them like you. Just enjoy the fulfilling interaction with those who do like you.

Let us know if I have helped or if you have any follow up questions. I wish you well.

Article #: 482862

Category: Friendship