I haven’t known the father long and I don’t want any more negative reactions.

Why not start by simply introducing your new man, says our elder. You can share the baby news later.

 

Dear EWC

I’m only a few weeks pregnant with my second child. I haven’t known the father for long, but it was like love at first sight and we have similar values and viewpoints on family, our goals, life, relationships, and etc. This pregnancy was unexpected, but we are both ecstatic (and he seems way more excited than me, which is cute). My son is two years old. He has a six-year-old daughter who he’s super close to and helps out with taking care of his newborn niece and nephew. I know my family is going to be judgmental about the fact that I am on baby #2, but I am happy. I feel like this is the man I’ve prayed for. I told my mom, and she was very negative about the situation by trying to convince me not to go through with it, even though she has met the guy or knows how happy we are about having a child together. So, at this point I really don’t want to let anyone else know that I am pregnant, besides my son. However, I do want everyone to meet him. So, my question is how should I go about introducing him to my family and my son?

 

AuntAJ

Your new beau sounds like he’s very caring toward children. That’s a nice quality. This may very well be a good match for you. However, I think it’s always wise to take your time with big decisions and situations. Hopefully, you would spend more time getting to know him before you would make any big changes like moving in together, etc.

Two people can both be good people, but it doesn’t mean that they will get along together in all ways. No two people get along completely, but it’s important to make sure you’re on the same page about big decisions. And whatever the case, I’m sure you want your children to be raised in a happy home. Since you do not want anyone to know about the pregnancy, I would suggest just introducing him as you would any potential partner, and if people ask about him – just say he’s very important to you, that you have a lot in common and really seem to get along well. They don’t need to know any other details at this moment. However, once the pregnancy becomes visibly obvious, you will have to announce this. And it will be better if people have met this man prior to hearing the news. 

I also think I would hold off a little bit in telling your son, because he might accidentally let the news slip and/or you may want to make sure that the pregnancy is going along OK before sharing this news with him as it will affect him emotionally.

Remember, sometimes children may be fearful that they won’t be as important once the second child comes along. Even though I’m sure that’s not the case, in his young mind he may think that. 

I hope everything works out the best for you, and that the decisions you make in the future reflect your goals for you and your son and soon-to-be second child. 

Best wishes for a healthy, happy baby and a relationship that will stand the rest of time. Although no one likes to be judged, people do have a habit of doing that. Try to not let others’ judgments affect you. This is your life and you have to live it as situations unfold. I’m glad both of you are happy about the baby. That’s most important. 

Article #: 490095

Category: Family