One makes an effort, the other doesn’t even bother to text. 

Can our elder help this letter writer decide between them?

 

Dear EWC

D told me Saturday that he likes me, and then I said that i like him back, we haven’t talked again after that, he doesn’t text me at all, when I see him in person, we do talk, but not much, so I think that he’s trying to use me for the wrong reasons. R really makes me happy. We have known each other for years now, and he still likes me. R is a sweet and caring guy, who gets along with my family, and knows me better than I know myself. It’s almost like R is the good boy and D is the bad boy. I really like R. I like him way more than D, but I can’t help but like D. I know he’s not good for me but I can’t help myself. I feel like I can see a future with R, but not with D. I feel like he would never be loyal to me, and R would. R texts me, calls me and makes plans with me, where D would never make an effort. 

I would like to be with R, but I don’t want D to think I’m not available, and I feel bad that I’m feeling this way because it’s not fair to R. But I want to be available because I’m scared that if D sees I moved on, he would too… and I like him. It’s a mess, I’m really sorry!

 

AuntAJ replies

I think you realize that D does not want you for the right reasons. I know it’s hard when someone says they like you and you really like them. However, the fact that you do have a wonderful person like R around is a plus. You wanted to test out D and I think you already have the answer. You say he doesn’t text you at all, you don’t talk much when you’re together. It sounds like this is purely a physical attraction and you have to gather that mature part of yourself that says it’s not worth what you could possibly lose while trying to satisfy your attraction to D. From everything you’re saying, it doesn’t sound like D is in a good place to be a great boyfriend. I think he is looking to meet as many girls as he can. 

I’m not convinced that R is your future. There could be a totally different guy for you out there but for right now, R sounds like he treats you well and he’s a good guy; and D is just one of those guys we sometimes dream about. 

You might know what you want in your heart, but it’s time to follow your head and make a smart decision so as to not allow yourself to get into a disappointing situation. I hope you choose to see what you can have with R.

In the end, you have to do what you want because you are your own person. But I can tell you from experience, the guys that are similar to D are not usually quality lifelong partners. 

I hope you make a good decision for yourself. Love yourself enough to demand respect.

Article #: 493900

Category: Dating/Relationship