Instead, I hide it under a hijab. Can I choose my own life without my family judging me?
Our elder has some sage advice about following your own path while still respecting your parents.
Dear EWC
Well, I’m 16 years old. I live in a country where there are some rules and culture to be followed. But not a lot follows them. I’m not a very religious person unlike my mom who is very serious about it. I’m a Muslim, I am a great believer. But some decisions I took when I was young have made my future a bit too hard. I wore a hijab in 7th grade. It felt good for a while, but now I’m seeing so many pretty girls, I feel insecure. I want to show my beauty. I overthink a lot. I feel like it’s stopping me from many things I have dreamt of. I want to leave this country and live a life that I desire, since it’s my life to choose anyways. But my parents, people around me. I fear they’ll judge me; they won’t let me do this. But I badly want to, I really don’t want to regret things anymore. Please give me some advice on this.
Zayda replies
I am in the United States, and here folks are considered adults when they are 18. That’s when they can make their own decisions about where and how to live without parental constraints. I don’t know what the rules are in the Maldives, so I am somewhat limited in the advice I can offer you.
What I can say is that I would encourage you to follow your path, not others’ path, whether they be friends, relatives, or even parents. However, expect there to be pushback if your path is too far off from your families/parents. My two children are now in their 40s and they have followed their own path for quite some time. It’s been frustrating for me, on occasion, and sad on occasion, but I know that’s what they have to do. I always knew, as they were growing up, that they would keep some of my teachings, modify some for their lives, and throw others away, and that’s what happened. So my experience leads me to advise you to follow your own path, but always, always love and respect your parents, friends and relatives regardless of how they respond. If they judge you, love, and respect them, but stay on your path.
From your age, I assume you are in what we call high school. Perhaps you can arrange to go to college abroad in a country where the rules and culture allow young people more freedom. If so, you would then be able to follow your path more easily.
Your situation is difficult, as it is for many young people your age. I hope what I’ve said is helpful. Please write again if you need some more advice. Perhaps another elder can address your concerns regarding your insecurity, overthinking, and wanting to show your beauty.
Article #: 493301
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